Read any book, blog or magazine article about keeping a marriage exciting and one in which both people feel connected, it'll advise you to schedule a date night at least once a month. Why? Well, let's face it. If time isn't set aside for you and your mate to spend time alone without talking about bills, children, aging parents, etc., you could run the risk of drifting apart. Although the bills, children, aging parents (and a whole host of other things) are important, the most important thing is your marriage. Think about it. If your marriage ends up falling apart the bills, children and other things are going to suffer greatly. Putting your marriage first is of great necessity.
But come on, we all know it's not that easy.
Not only am I (SHE) an only child, but I was also born into a very small family. My husband (HE) on the other hand comes from a large family, both nuclear and extended family wise. Babysitters were aplenty. When my husband moved up here to be with me, however, our babysitter prospects were slim, to put it mildly. There were no frisky Fridays or sexy Saturdays for us (at least not outside the house). Our only "alone time" as a couple was when we put the little ones down for bed. I don't even have to tell you how exhausted we usually were by the time they went down, which meant not much was happening. After years of this happening, WE were frustrated. I wanted him to take me for romantic dinners on the beach (yeah, I'm THAT girl); He wanted to have me alone, so that we could make love as long and as loud as we wanted without being interrupted by children. After some heated fellowships (read: arguments) and a resignation that we wouldn't be able to go out until our children were almost grown, we came up with an alternative: Date night at home.
I know, I know, it sounds kind of corny. Just go with me on this.
First, you and your mate need to determine when/how often you'll have your at home date. Weekly? Monthly? Once a quarter?
Then decide what you're going to do. The possibilities are endless. We've done candlelight dinners. We've created a home club (the great thing about a home club is that you can play whatever music you want and dirty dance to your heart's content). We've role played (there'll be a separate blog entry about that later). Be creative. Have fun with it.
Lastly, be flexible. Things happen. Maybe you were scheduled to have your date on Friday and it has to be rescheduled to Monday. Don't stress about it. This is supposed to be about you and your mate spending quality time with each other.
It may be akward at first. Just give it a chance. Don't let work, kids or the stresses of life keep you from enjoying your life together. Going on a date doesn't necessarily mean physically going somewhere. All that's needed is the two of you. The "where" is unimportant in comparison to the "who with".
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